Let’s Talk

This Creature lived
all alone
survived off its own
violence and pain
the cocoon it built had
chilled it to the bone
but their was only
the selfish self to blame.

In the age of
painful decision she had none
she was bound
by the doomed fate of
her own vision.

Begged for forgiveness
her nose to the ground
“lift your face you worthless
fucking bitch” the mind
freaked out to the shorted
out brain.

Brain whispered back ‘you hold
all the cards and I’m scarred and
I’m maimed and you’re to blame.”

Minds said “I hate you
you fucker, you’re
already dead”

“Hate, my friend, hate what
you aren’t willing to change”
brain said.

This poem is in solidarity with all of my amazingly brave friends who have posted their truth for Bell #letstalk. I wrote this while I cut and burned myself, I believed I was worthless. There is literally a mark where I “stamped” in blood and circled in blue pen a promise to myself I’d never (!) do that again. I was 19, but I can still be lost in bad thoughts…..I don’t intentionally cut or burn anymore, but I do work in a kitchen where these things happen and I don’t mind too much. A physical scar to acknowledge my mortality, blah,blah, blah…….My husband said it best when we first met in 1998 when he told me in his big french accent that I wasn’t only hurting myself, I’ve kept his words, and him, close to me.

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4 thoughts on “Let’s Talk”

    1. Thank you so much! I love your blog and it’s versatility too!! I think I’ve liked almost everything since I started following you!
      I still feel so new to this world and I’m a little shy to nominate others…..

      Like

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