I’m not the girl
who sways majestically in time
With stage light reflecting
her careful costumed appearance
a filtered queen of the night
I envy her effort and her awareness
as the lights dim.
For a moment I let my eyes close
carefully as the drums hit me perfectly
deep in the middle of my chest
and I am free
floating on the melodies
ripped from the amps of the bassist
smiling right in front of me
laughter erupts from inside my belly
without my consent this is bliss
For a moment between the pressure
and the pain.
I’m the girl in the pit
drenched in other people’s sweat
pressed against a bolted metal fence
waves of pressure break against my back
while boots attached to bodies sail over me
but I know when to avoid the boot
I can feel it coming as security pushes in
to gleefully rip the roaring kid victorious
from their broken surf.
I don’t see that girl again
but for some reason
she stays with me.