Still it Shines

This
quiet confident
impossible permission
to change like rubber
busted with a key or a
spindle left to unravel
reveals a simple middle
still it shines

This
campfire bench
breaths joy in
funny things in
hair holding misery
when life hurls vomit bombs
at our family

This
learns to bike
likes it even as the
frame is hurled in anger
goes off map
in watchful abandon
to win laughter

This
is our love

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For Elaine

Before
(the whole world
became unbalanced
by the beast who
invaded your throat
spread like smoke
discreetly wound its
way through your
beautiful healthy body)

We explored the concept
of home, together over
coffee while our kids
played happy on your
patio in the sun.

Laughed over pints
up the hill at the pub
danced in our seats
to Beautiful Sun

Raised eyebrows
through giggles as we
teased our husbands
around the kitchen table.

Changed diapers and
fears through tears
and frantic stitches.

So when you told me
you were sick
and you weren’t sure
you’d get better the
world changed forever
as I disappeared

too busy to help
too busy to feel
too busy to think

And when I heard
at the bus stop
you were in the hospital
you were dying
I realized I was

too late to be sorry
too late to think
too late to help

So I wrote this instead
And I learned

To whom it may concern;

I’m a bit sad today
I tried to skype you
But it’s tomorrow afternoon
where you’re at
so you’re at work

Instead
I remembered
How we’ve laughed
Giggled into the night
When we thought our moms were sleeping tight
(Like they were never little girls!)
Shared solemn secrets
Through tears that fell
Pinky swore we’d never tell

As we grew it became apparent
We had challenges to overcome
Words said in anger never(!)
To be undone
Until we matured and learned
Our differences didn’t matter
We were, in fact, transparent

Now you’re married to a man
Who eats kiwis
He makes you laugh
Your eyes all sparkley
I’m happy for you
Though I miss you everyday
for the second in time
when we were simply
Complicated, giggle full
Little girls

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