Fraught

Soaked in partisan 

Slaps lungs tangled up with heart beats

Lost to stubbled life

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Pot Bound

My outgrown tangled roots
are bound for a bigger pot
always

Tradition states my choice…
and it’s two sizes too small
as they say
so the moment I’d settled
my roots had already grown out
left most untidily tangled

To be frank, I’m tired
after two times too many plantings
my leaves droop as I fight for space
against myself, to be sure

but I’m frighted of a too big pot
one in which I might get lost
what if the edge is far away?
so I can’t find it
to sit decisive-like and say
“I’m clearly too big for this pot
I must make myself smaller”

Alice

My heart has a double beat
occasional and reckless
I call her Alice
She’s normal, they say
until she starts to sing

I’m not ready to listen
but she stays with me
until I cough her back to sleep
scared of what she’ll tell me

she’ll say;
what I know of truth isn’t
what i interpret in others isn’t
or what I believe of myself isn’t

real

Oh Alice

Word Zombie

In the mountains
by the beach
in the trees

I see words hidden in the sand
pop up sideways like crabs
but when I reach for one
it’s sucked back under

as I search with my back turned
other words creep out missing parts

bandaged, amputated, gaping excuses
for letters bundled together
crusted with blood
I know then what they are
word zombies

And I know for sure
my job is to slay them
to give real words a chance

but as I reach for one
it bites me and I
(obviously)
turn into a zombie too
the blank page zombie.

 

The Pit

angeline with fu manchuI’m not the girl
who sways majestically in time
With stage light reflecting 
her careful costumed appearance
a filtered queen of the night
I envy her effort and her awareness
as the lights dim.

For a moment I let my eyes close
carefully as the drums hit me perfectly
deep in the middle of my chest
and I am free
floating on the melodies
ripped from the amps of the bassist
smiling right in front of me
laughter erupts from inside my belly
without my consent this is bliss

For a moment between the pressure
and the pain.

I’m the girl in the pit
drenched in other people’s sweat
pressed against a bolted metal fence
waves of pressure break against my back
while boots attached to bodies sail over me
but I know when to avoid the boot
I can feel it coming as security pushes in
to gleefully rip the roaring kid victorious
from their broken surf.

I don’t see that girl again
but for some reason
she stays with me.

Road Forks

100_0009Exposed
I am small
on this traverse
in this meadow
at this fork
it’s time to make
a decision but the view
overwhelms me and the flowers
smell like my mind can
be made up tomorrow
maybe I’ll just stay here
at the trailhead of indecision
watch unconcerned as
the fog rolls in
I wait and wait
and wait
for something to happen
the fog clears
but the fork didn’t
grow a knife
to cut away fat
and sinew
I Blink at the fog
as it slinks it’s
wispy fingers inside
my determination
welcome oblivion